is this right?

This post might be very self-centred and big-headed.But circumstances require me to act so.So leave if you can’t read this kind of stuff.
I can’t really consider myself as stupid.I mean,sometimes I really am not as stupid as I think I am.I score fairly good grades.Well.At least better than a few other hopeless winos.But making the same mistake of trusting someone else with all I have is something even a hopeless wino wouldn’t do.Ever.
See,that’s just the problem with me.I have this habit of tripping into the same booby trap again.Twice.
I never saw myself as a confidant.I sort of did at first;and maybe it went pretty far and I was happy as long as it lasted.But that was probably as far as it went;my presumptions never came to reality.And considering that fact,knowing that someone’s been using you up like water in the well till it runs cracking dry,really stabs me deep,forming this unbearable wound in the small of my back.
Telling myself this was going great and I actually had something nice in my life for a change only made it worse because the realization slaps me hard in the face.I suck at this sort of thing.Way too much for friendship.For being a trustee.For someone to hold on to me,and perhaps for the worthiness I have in myself as a friend.
Come on.
I don’t have to know.Is that what this is all about?Well,I probably don’t need to.They didn’t have to move so much as an inch.They didn’t even have to think about telling me;because their body language was practically blowing every single cover they had.Their actions just screamed out loud about absolutely everything they kept hidden inside.And that’s how someone as stupid as me finds out.
I beg their forgiveness.For knowing all this while but pretending I didn’t just to make them feel better.